#Or is it a product of me being acespec
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I do find it fascinating how many readers take a character statement as the Absolute Truth and don't consider there may be layers of hidden meaning tucked beneath the surface. This happens over and over again in my Lucifer fic, particularly with Chloe's dialogue.
The most recent example is when she said 'Our relationship doesn't matter. Rory's more important.' and some readers were like 'Doesn't seem like she's very interested in a relationship with Lucifer. Where does she think Rory came from then? Doesn't she realize if she doesn't sleep with Lucifer, Rory won't exist in the future?'
When the context of this argument and that line is it's the DAY after they learned this toddler is their daughter from the future and a mere TWO WEEKS after Chloe learned angels were real and her partner was the literal, actual Devil. This woman is stressed as fuck! Do you analyze the romantic feelings you've been suppressing since the object of those feelings rejected you when you're stressed as fuck? Cause I sure don't! She's in survival mode right now! I thought that was obvious??? STOP TAKING ME AND THE CHARACTERS AT OUR WORDS! WE'RE ALL LIARS IN THIS NARRATIVE!
#My tone might seem like I'm angry about this#But I'm simply continually perplexed#Is this a product of being in my mid 30s? Are the readers that behind in life experience?#Or is it a product of me being acespec? Cause my sex drive shuts down when I'm stressed and my emotions get muted too?#Do other people not compartmentalize when they're coping with stress?#I'm so confused#Maybe I'm not making character motivations obvious enough but what am I supposed to do?#Write: 'Our relationship doesn't matter' she lied. Their relationship was one of the most important things in her life#and a daughter from the future only reinforced that.#First of all: I'm in close limited 3rd person POV not omniscient.#Secondly: BABE SHE'S FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW AND WOULD NOT BE THINKING LIKE THAT!
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My personal Little Shop LGBT Headcanons (+ random shit lol) cus it's pride n I can do whatever t'hell I want.
There are tons of microlabels listed here cus I love givin representation t' the lesser known labels out there, includin my own!!
Also I don't wanna hear shit bout how they wouldn't know what half these labels even are. I'm well aware of that, I'm jus havin fun.
tw: f-slur
enjoy n feel free t' ask questions bout my headcanons if ya want ā¼ļø
Seymour Krelborn | he/they
- transgender (ftm)
- biromantic (fluctuatin male-n-female preference)
- nebularomantic
- asexual
- in modern day, he'd probably use nature related xenogenders
- unlabeled Seymour also works tbh. He seems like the kinda guy who'd be overwhelmed by all these labels
Audrey Fulquard | she/her
- transgender (mtf)
- either hetero or panromantic
- demiromantic
- reciprosexual caedsexual
- she wouldn't say all of this if anyone asked, though. She'd probably say she's gay as a general term, y'know?
- Whenever pride comes round, she makes these beautiful bouquets t' sell that are discreet pride flags. It looks like a bunch'a pretty colors, but nope. Secret lesbian flag.
Orin Scrivello | he/him (maybe it/its too)
- transgender (ftm)
- biromantic (hella internalized homophobia)
- hypersexual.
- aegosexual n/or fraysexual
- he keeps his sexuality n all that locked t'fuck DOWN. He got lucky cus his top scars healed beautifully n ya can't tell he even had any surgeries done.
- If anyone even mentions being gay round him, he suddenly gets very defensive. "Who t'hell are ya callin a faggot?!"
- He has no issues with gay people, he'll tell ya that straight up. But he is not one of them, y' hear? (He is.)
Gravis Mushnik | he/him
- cisgender man
- hetroflexible (biromantic)
- heterosexual
- All gay customers get a discount on flowers. (He jus says that n has Seymour put up a sign in the window for it ...There's no discount btw.)
Twoey / Audrey II | she/it
- agender
- acearo REPULSED
- please do not fuck the plant
- triple a threat.
Crystal | she/her
- cisgender female
- sapphic
- asexual
- Random headcanon, but all the Urchins are aliens (cousin Twoey.) They jus spawned into Skid Row one day n nobody questioned it.
Ronnette | she/he/them (any)
- gender non conformin (gnc)
- neptunic
- aceflux
- fem presentin.
- Chat I've seen like three productions where they have Ronnie played by a dude n it altered my brain chemistry.
Chiffon | she/her
- cisgender female
- lesbian
- acespec
- she is a man hatin lesbian.
Frank Guest | he/him
- cisgender male
- mlm
- nebulasexual + graysexual
- def. has the hots for Seymour.
Arthur Denton | he/it (that/thats)
- cisgender male
- panromantic
- homosexual
- ambiamorous
- I saw someone headcanon that he has a wife n kids n that he's jus a big ol jokester who moans in the dental chair!! I think bout that all the time.
- Nobody wants his freaky ahh.
Mrs. Mack | she/her
- cisgender female
- lesbian
- dating Mrs. Luce cus fuck you guys
Mrs. Luce | she/her
- transgender (mtf)
- lesbian
- dysphorsexual
- in a lavender marriage with Mr. Luce (aka. the editor of Life Magazine (who's a gay man)) she's actually datin Mrs. Mack
Mr. Bernstein | he/him
- cisgender male
- polymantic
- homosexual
- "Seymour, sweetheart, dollface, bubalah..." Yea. Y'ur gay.
Skip Snip | he/him
- cisgender male
- aromantic
- homosexual
- "It's nice to meet me, the pleasure is yours!" Yeah. Welcome t' Homoville buddy.
Patrick Martin | he/him
- cisgender male
- heterosexual
- homophobic.
- I don't like Patrick Martin. so he's a cishet.
Wink Wilkinson | he/him
- cisgender male
- panromantic
- asexual
- He'd be the kinda guy who'd wear "Free Hugs!" shirt at pride n give out really cringy pride stickers like "I'm a Pan-da!!" N shit t' the people he interviews on the radio. He's great.
#lsoh#little shop of horrors#seymour krelborn#seymour lsoh#audrey fulquard#audrey lsoh#orin scrivello#orin lsoh#mr mushnik#audrey ii#lsoh twoey#crystal ronnette and chiffon#the urchins lsoh#arthur denton#wink wilkinson#lsoh ensemble#queer#pride#lgbtq#if you say im wrong you hate gay people#Skid Row? more like GAY ROW.#god i love projectin#host post#š#š¦·#dr pepper collective#little shop pride
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BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst
Thank you for tagging me @twig-tea š I read your post and the questions while going Ohhh interesting but when I actually tried to answer them myself, I realized that I'm usually pretty positive about the shows I watch or else I just move on from them. Most of the time, I don't fault characters or a whole show for being bad anyway, it's more the writing/script, directing choices, or editing that I tend to have gripes with.
So! Of the entire 22 original questions (by @clara-maybe-ontheroad), I'll only be answering a handful. This will also only be about Thai BLs because they make up the vast majority of QLs I've seen.
1 Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL
My knee-jerk reaction was "Never Let Me Go country song NC" lmao but then I went to rewatch said scene and it barely stood out to me. So after re-thinking I'll have to nominate two shows: Dangerous Romance and Until We Meet Again, for basically the same reason.
Chimon's OST ąøŖąø²ąø¢ąø„ąø” (Wind), which I actually fell in love with when it dropped because Chimon's voice was such a pleasant surprise, is being entirely overused in DR, to the point that I'm starting to tire of a song that I actually like. Honorable mention: The completely random and unnecessary stage performance of Perth and Chimon's ąøąøąøąø±ąøą¹ąøąøąø²ąøą¹ (Sunset) in ep. 5. Was it not enough to have them sing and vibe to it in the car earlier in the same episode??
Similarly, UWMA's OST is either entirely by one guy or entirely one song but it sure was grating on me, my patience and my enjoyment of the show. P'New series are already hit or miss for me but that singer/song/OST had me so fed up.
5 Worst plot line
The first show I ever dropped was Star In My Mind which is ridiculous considering how short it is. But the entire premise of Kluen being unable to open his goddamn mouth frustrated me to no end. I did pick it back up again at a later point though, so I could watch Sky In Your Heart and indulge in the JoongDunk cuteness from there on out.
7 A show people love but you find bad
I'm sorry to say but- it's Vice Versa. It was one of the first Thai QLs I watched along with as it aired but ultimately I gotta say Oof. It has a fun premise, the cinematography is super nice, and it's genuinely sweet. But the amount of product placements was staggering! I also just didn't vibe with JimmySea's chemistry, they just gave too much Friend energy for me to find them believable as a couple. They're not the only ones or the only series where I didn't really find the spark but that's not a Them problem. That's a me 'Needing my fictional couples to be head over heels for each other for my acespec ass to see/experience the attraction and connection' problem lol
8 A show people find bad but you will defend
Cutie Pie! And I will die on this hill, @twig-tea š It has everything I love: good production quality, good acting, tangible chemistry between the couples (see last question lol), complicated emotions, push-and-pull between the romantic leads, a dedicated cast and crew, a great OST, I'm certain I'm forgetting a lot of stuff but there's just so much I love about this show.
At its core, it's about two people who turned themselves into the versions they think they should be for each other, based on their upbringing, expectations placed upon them, status differences etc. and how they learn to be honest with themselves and each other.
I've re-watched this show a number of times, each with different levels of Thai proficiency, which made me consider that this show might've been such a hit in Thailand but not as much internationally because there's maybe a language and trope/culture barrier here? On my first-time watch, I knew no Thai and was largely unfamiliar with what tropes are common in Thai romances and such. At the time, the show didn't hit me very much, I struggled to make sense of that pivotal fight in episode 1, I enjoyed the singing, it was mostly just a nice romance. On my most recent re-watch a few months back, I had reached the point where I could follow a spoken conversation in Thai as long as there were translated subs to guide me along. And suddenly the full weight of episode 1 but especially the fight at the end, setting up the central conflict, hit me and I realized: Oh wow! This is good writing! Introduce your characters, their backgrounds, their goals, and the show's core conflict and that's how you hook viewers.
This has already gotten long enough but I wanna mention how much it means to me to have this show not just call for marriage equality repeatedly but also to have them shout it out to the world by having their mlm couple fully make out in what is arguably one of the busiest corners of Bangkok - Siam Square! More specifically it is the area with the fountains between Siam Paragon on one side and Siam Center on the other, and the skywalk (that connects the various malls in the area) as well as the central BTS station Siam both overlooking that space. It's also called Parc Paragon, there's frequently events there, and it is busy as all hell!! And they not only cleared it for filming a lengthy queer kiss scene but, in the show, the huge LED/ad screens are used to project pride colors, a call for equal rights, and a queer marriage proposal in plain view of the entire square!
If you've never been to Bangkok, I beg you to look up photos, via Google Street View or the IG location tag for Parc Paragon so you get an idea of what I'm talking about. š (this isn't the only busy prominent location they used btw but djdjhdjsdj let's not write a whole damn essay here)
10 A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated
Dinosaur Love - I watched the first episode, excited for Tonnam and Pepper, and found it charming with its low budget, pink-filtered tropey-ness. Except I quickly realized that this show was Actually Bad. The framing and blocking were often a big question mark to me. The pink filter and the background music got annoying quickly. The acting was subpar. At some point in episode 2 I started questioning if they ever even did more than one take per scene. There was a panning shot involving a mirror where the crew is just fully visible in the reflection?? Suffice it to say that I dropped this show like a hot potato when episode 3 very suddenly and very graphically had a side character self-harm. Squicked me out like nothing before, moving on!
11 A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny
I mentioned this already but I'm on the aro/ace-spectrum (...somewhere, don't ask me specifics lol) so I don't really watch shows for horny or eyecandy reasons. If I don't vibe with the characters or dynamics then I won't even perceive them as sexy, to be honest.
12 A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character
Why R U (the og Thai one), I guess? Everyone who's seen it probably knows that the production and filming suffered because of Covid so I wouldn't hesitate to call this show bad on that basis. I set out to watch it because I wanted to see more of Zee Pruk's acting, in another role, after having seen Cutie Pie. And Fighter ended up being most of the reason I stuck around till the end. The nuanced struggle with his own sexuality was so well-portrayed. Tutor is a very memorable character as well! And I'm entirely š„° about Hwa, she just perfectly fits this character archetype that I will always, without fail, completely adore.
21 The show that disappointed you the most
Most of the time, I either don't have big expectations or I let go of them quickly enough once I get a vibe for where a given show is going. The closest thing to 'disappointment' would then probably be all the shows that I kept seeing being recommended and hyped but that didn't leave a lasting impression on me after watching, like KinnPorsche, Love Mechanics, Manner of Death. None of these are bad OR disappointing and there's things I genuinely enjoyed and liked in them but ultimately I just didn't Get why they're so popular. I'm sure part of it is to do with me not having been around to follow along on a week-to-week basis but watching them long after they were done airing, basically in a vacuum. But alas!
I don't know how you managed to do all 22 questions, Twig Tea, when this fraction has already taken me like five hours š Passing this time-eating curse on then to @airenyah @cangse-sanren/@zeesqueere @sadwetcatray @sorry-bonebag @telomeke @thegalwhorants @pharawee I'm sure this tag is making the rounds so some (if not all) of y'all have probably done this already. If anyone I didn't tag reads this and wants to play, feel free to tag me in it, I do enjoy reading hot takes and impassioned essays lol
#tag game#thai bl#bella and the blorbos#ql musings#don't judge me for my silly housekeeping tags lol#worst bl shows the ask game
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ok but some selfish and abrasive g witch finale thoughts:
all these boohoos going on about how that shit sucked bc they were really expecting a kiss on screen and it didn't happen and how the execs chickened out of a """real gay rep""" just really tells me how much better we acespecs are at finding and telling a love story. like if fucking yuri on ice didn't/couldn't do it (I know this is a time slot thing and pls, we are talking about a production that happened in a country where the fucking nagano ruling is already considered monumental! try to imagine that if u can!!!!), what the fuck makes you think a gundam show will? and like, a kiss? really is the only way you'll believe two queer people are in love? so if you see two people who are out and out and they're just holding hands, you're not gonna believe they're in love??? come the fuck on, stranger
like let's give this the benefit of the doubt: execs wanted an onscreen kiss for the impact and the hashtag but censorship is homophobic and stuff. look, they went around it, didn't they?? eri identified herself as miorine's fucking sister-in-law, they have motherfucking rings, and they're living together???? and in so doing delivered an even more holistic couple??? and you're telling me that's not queer rep, that they're not in love, and that they owe it to you to explain their love story as if they didn't fucking spend 576 minutes telling it and almost literally even died for it??? like maybe at this point, people should just fing reevaluate their shallow grasp on romance and maybe even their inherent acephobia
am I stepping on toes here? yeah I'm fucking stepping on toes here but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't making enemies left and right, right? also you can't blame me for being angry about the way media has turned romance into a narrow checklist. I'm tired of that shit
in other news, after that roller-coaster ride of an anime, I think I'm suddenly prepared for anything the other animes I'm watching/games I'm playing can throw at me. character death? give it to me; my favorite character got a great ending in g witch so I'm happy to take a loss on another front. (and like come on, I was prepared for Jin Sakai to die until I realized that he was the mc of the DLC too which is a big duh on my part but anywayā) gay skater suddenly gets a girlfriend in the next season? give it to me, I don't care anymore. we'll all know it's fake anyway, we just need the money from the hetties
lastly and selfishly, I can finally work on my guel fanmix holy shit and boy am I glad I've been going on the right direction all along ššš (guesule fanmix, don't worry, I have a hundred sad songs waiting for you, so you just sit right there and auntie liv will get to you soon š)
#liv is typing#g witch#g witch spoilers#yes I talk more about that missing onscreen kiss and no the people who are demanding it won't like what I had to say#can't believe I have to preface this post bc i happen to be using a public search tag for organizing my blog...#was it a bad idea on my part yes it was a bad idea on my part but to my defense past!me didn't expect to have this opinion in the future#noisyofolives
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š esther, lvl. 18, ne/nen, demigirl, sfw age regressor, eclectic witch, luciferian, acespec
š always happy to chat and make friends! also, please send asks, they make me so happy!
š this is a cozy, positive, safe space for all the sweet people; if i reblog a post of yours and you don't like it being on my blog, i will be happy to delete the reblog for you ā”
š loves: reading, writing, stuffies (all toys really), pretty things, self-care products, trinkets, subliminals, animals, coquette/dollette/doellette and morute aesthetics, paranormal things, horror movies and cartoons
š i post affirmations, my thoughts and things i enjoy, playlists, things i find in my life that brings me joy (like when i make myself pretty meals) reblog aesthetic stuff and try to look into what i actually want and enjoy
š check out my tags here [ššš]
š this is a manifesting a bf blog, but also a place to heal and explore my sexuality after trauma, and there will be occasional vents and darker fantasies; i'll do my best to tw tag, but if you need anything tagged, feel free to tell me ā” (block #įā” š©š°š³š³š°š³ š„š°šš to filter all of it in one swipe āŗ; also block #įā” ļæ½ļ潚©š¦ š£š¶šÆšÆšŗ š¤š³šŖš¦š“ to filter the vents)
DNI: terf/swerf, abdl/bdsm/nsfw/r@pe fetish blogs, pro-ed, anti-LGBTQ+/anti-MOGAI, pro-ship, pro-inc*st, anti-endo, (NO)MAP/PEAR/supporter, anti-agere, trump supporter, anti-feminist, anti-BLM/anti-ACAB, abrahamic religions (there's nothing wrong with you guys, it's just a trigger for me), will add as i remember other nasty people
#įā” š„š°šššŖš¦ š³š¢šÆšµš“#įā” šøš©š¢šµ š£š¢š£šŗš„š°šš šøš¢šÆšµš“#įā” š£š¢š£šŖš¦šš¶š·#įā” š©š°š³š³š°š³ š„š°šš#įā” šµš©š¦ š£š¶šÆšÆšŗ š¤š³šŖš¦š“#įā” š¢šÆšØš¦š'š“ šøšŖš“š©ššŖš“šµ#įā” š§š¢šøšÆ'š“ š„š¢š„š„šŗ#įā” š¢šÆšØš¦š'š“ šš°š·š¦š³#įā” ššŖšµšµšš¦ š„š°š¦#įā” š„š°ššš©š°š¶š“š¦ š£š°š°š¬ š¤šš¶š£
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Using A Spark in Fate Core to Build My World
I thought Iād show you my process through A Spark in Fate Core, a worksheet for creating an original campaign setting. This doubles as a writing tool and something that will contribute to gameplay, even after going through it, so I think itās worth showing what I ended up doing before formulating that introductory post.
Since Spark in Fate was made specifically for Fate Core, a TTRPG Iām not using, Iām using part of it. I also homebrewed this a bit, since itās built for collaborative worldbuilding and Iām just doing this on my own, but not that much..
Step 1: List Media
Going into this project, all I knew about it was that I wanted it to be kinky, in a world thatās atleast better than real life, and related to space. This first step, which is to list some media that I like or has things that I want in my world, will help me get a more solid idea. Iām not going to justify my choices, because I donāt have to, not until step 2.
Usually, you would have 1 or 2 per player. I picked 3 total, which is a bit less than youād normally have, but thatās because of a future step.
Cowboy Bebop
Star Trek
Tekken 3
I didnāt need all of the media to be sci-fi, and in fact, only 2 have space travel. I didnāt need media with a story, either. Iām actually pretty sure that, every time Iāve done this with an actual group, atleast one person gives an album. I make a point that it works just as well as anything else. I picked these because they were either cool, or were cool and also had themes I wanted to explore.
Step 2: List Inspirations
After asking for some of the stuff I like, Spark in Fate then has the gall to ask āwhyā. This means I have to pinpoint specific things in the media Iāve listed that I want to see in my world, and put that concept into a phrase thatāll be called an inspiration. I went for 1 ācoolā inspiration and 1 āthematicā inspiration for each piece of information, just to keep a balance or something.
Iāll describe my thought process for deciding each inspiration. I wonāt go in depth about how that inspiration relates to the media it comes from, because I donāt need the inspirations to be perfectly reminiscent of how they were explored in the media I chose.
Cowboy Bebop
Bounty Hunting
This felt like a good way to facilitate swashbucklery duels, and maybe have an excuse to explore dub-con/cnc style dynamics.
Holding on to Identity
I tend to get bored of sex that just exists for its own sake (acespecs gonna acespec), so I figured itād be fun to ask what makes sex, and for that matter, romance and gender as well, meaningful to the characters doing it.
Star Trek
Space Adventure
Itās fun, you should try it! That, and I recently came across a book called āElf Gendersā that has tables for randomly rolling genders for fantasy cultures. I wonāt use that specific book, because some of the tables are checks for if certain things are discriminated against, and I just donāt want to introduce that in this game. Iām giving it a shoutout because it made me realize that itās kinda silly how aliens in media are often just a couple of genders that humans ended up with, and I thought Iād contribute to rectifying that.
Almost Utopic
Utopian fiction appeals to me because I just think itās a more productive way to comment on real world issues, and because not being depressing doesnāt make something less intelligent or meaningful. I went with āAlmost Utopicā, partially to acknowledge that Star Trekās politics arenāt perfect, but mainly because it makes fitting it into the Thirsty Sword Lesbians framework slightly more straightforward.
Tekken 3
Expressive Fighting Styles
I like when characters have fighting styles that fit their personality, and are flashy to the point of āthat would never work in a real fightā. Basically, professional wrestling.
Tech Awakening Old Horrors
I wanted to interrogate the idea that technological advancement is inherently good. Obviously, as a tool, it's done some pretty cool things like develop modern medicine and make long distance communication practical, I guess. Iām more talking about the idea that we should have more powerful technology just for the sake of it, and thought maybe having really powerful technology that poses an existential threat could be a good jumping off point. I didnāt intend to end up with āfossil fuels but Lovecraftianā but maybe I can lean into that.
Step 3: Genre
This is when you pick a genre and put an adjective infront of it to make it more unique. Thatās about it. It sounds easy, but with a group, it can sometimes take awhileā¦
Anyway, I went with āKinky Sci-Fi Adventureā, of course.
Step 4: Scale
Ironically, this is another one-question-long step. It asks what problems the PCs will need to face, ranging from small town drama to saving the world from a mad god. This is actually a pretty complicated question when you put it in the context of a single campaign, which is probably why it gets its own step. It asks you to say something like āsmall scaleā or ābig scaleā, but then add a phrase to elaborate on the nature of that scale.
I plan on this campaign being a monster-of-the-week with space travel and rival characters. Since the broader problems of the world arenāt being tackled (atleast, not in the start), this would actually be a āsmall scaleā campaign. Iāll specify that the setting takes place in a large location, but focuses on a certain type of character.
I went with āSmall Scale (Space, but Filled with Rivals)ā.
Step 5: Establish the Facts
At last, I get to start putting in some more tangible elements into this world. Normally what would happen is the DM would ask a question (my favorite starting question is āWhat does mundane life here look like?ā, but thatās neither here nor there), and a player answers it in a way that incorporates one of the inspirations. Then, that player asks another question, and another player answers it by incorporating another inspiration. This goes on until every inspiration is incorporated, making sure everyone gets to ask and answer a question.
When Iām doing this on my own, I sometimes write down a question and randomly roll for what inspiration to use to answer it. For this campaign, I donāt have to, because Thirsty Sword Lesbians has a worksheet for worldbuilding, with questions that I can use for this process. This is why I only used 3 pieces of media with 6 inspirations, because there were six questions that I wanted to pull from the TSL worksheet.
Since the questions were decided by another source, I just picked the inspirations I wanted to use.
What community does the PC live in?
The Sell-Whips. (Expressive Fighting Styles)
Whatās the scale of this community?
Scattered across two galaxies. (Space Adventure)
What is especially positive about this community?
Complete and mutual respect for each-otherās needs. (Holding on to Identity)
What is a serious flaw of your community?
Sometimes you need to āgrabā someone to help keep the ship running. (Bounty Hunting)
What poses a threat to your community?
The sorta benevolent Federation, which pressures others to assimilate to a specific way of life. (Almost Utopic)
What poses a threat to the world?
The chaotic, powerful, and destructive Extinction-Tech. (Tech Awakening Past Horrors)
Step 6: Name Your Child
It wants a title for the world. Most groups skip this step. I figured thereās no better title than my blog title, so refer to that and continue to Step 7.
Step 7: Step 7
This is Step 7. Itās the step where āSparksā are come up with, root problems that have an effect on the entire world, and itās the last step that I want to do. This step exists even for small scale campaigns, because they give an understanding of where more local problems originate. This is normally done by each player thinking of 2 sparks, but I like to make sparks usings the facts I established in Step 5, which is not Step 7. Step 7 is this.
Remember these Sparks, theyāre the whole reason why I thought this process was worth showing. Theyāll come up in a future, similarly ābehind the curtainā post, and will hopefully play a huge role when actual gameplay starts.
Itās a dangerous job, but someoneās gotta do it. (The Sell-Whips.)
Interstellar travel takes a while. (Scattered across two galaxies.)
Sell-Whips stick together. (Complete and mutual respect for each-otherās needs.)
Sell-Whips hunt each other. (Sometimes you need to āgrabā someone to help keep the ship running.)
Lifeās hard for those who arenāt homogenous. (The sorta benevolent Federation, which pressures others to assimilate to a specific way of life.)
Extinction-Tech is never good news. (The chaotic, powerful, and destructive Extinction-Tech.)
In later steps, a group or solo player would create more local issues, and then create some key characters and places. I plan on doing all that without Spark in Fate, so thatās why Iāve neglected them. I just needed to come up with a skeleton (or the outside of the iceberg, if youāve seen that Brandon Sanderson lecture that one time), and get those Sparks as a secret tool that will help out later. Itāll be a bit until I start the actual journal, I got some homebrew ideas I want put into writing, plus a bunch of rivals and my PCās crew, but next post will have atleast a little bit of narrativeness to it.
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A Rant- Religion and Queerness
Iām Acespec. Having been raised Christian and being Queer, I have a lot of feelings. And here is where I shall vent. (3/4)
So we know that religion kinda screwed with me, because you know, compulsive heteronormativity.
I just need a mention for how frustrated I am that I spent so long not considering girls as a romantic option.
Actually, I feel the need to interrupt myself here and produce a record of my bi crisis.
Apparently itās quite normal for Ace people to think they are Bi or Pan because their lack of sexual attraction (0) means they have no preference over who they date (0 = 0). This means that their āsexual attractionā (read, lack of) is equal so theyāre actually attracted to MANY genders/identifies since they HAVE to be attracted to SOMEONE, RIGHT?! (hello compulsive/expected allosexuality, i dislike you)
Well I donāt think like that. Or, well, I had already read that by the time I was starting to accept my first aspec label, so my thought process was a little different. Either way, I was convinced of my asexuality before anything else.
So I took on the label of demisexual at first. Analyzing that is a different post. It was only after I started suspecting I was demisexual, that my bi crisis appeared.
See, demisexuality means you start having sexual attraction after a deep bond is formed. Itās not really on purpose, it just happens because you need a lot of trust and confidence before even experiencing attraction (no demisexuality isnāt always the product of trauma). For my ex, that meant being friends with him before considering a relationship, and being in our relationship for a while before considering we could be āmore.ā
So for me personally, getting into a relationship had to be kind of purposeful. I was homeschooled, so honestly, trying to connect with someone at all always had to be purposeful. And, well, i had never been purposeful towards a girl.
So as soon as my asexuality started showing, one my first thoughts was āwell how do I know Iām not bi? After all, from my limited experience, I wonāt be attracted to a girl until Iāve already been in a relationship with them for a while, and Iāve never tried that.ā
So that was my crisis. (Letās ignore the fact that I am probably bi if my immediate thought was ācould I be bi <3 ????ā) Not too bad. So what am I upset at???
The fact that it never once occurred to me that romance with a girl was permissible. Yeah, Iām basically angry that homosexual relationships were somehow silently yet loudly discouraged in my experience. Which was because Hello Christianity, I donāt like you either.
Because I had to ask myself if my āickā towards dating a girl was because of how I felt, or if it was because iāve been conditioned to feel that way.
And that angered me. I was already facing fears of what my relationship could even look like in light my newly discovered sexuality, I had also been raised to ignore HALF THE POPULATION?! Ridiculous.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
credit to @justlgbtthings for the ace hearts divider
#religion#aspec#ace pride#queer#probably bi to some degree#who knows#bi curious#biromantic#biromantic curious#a rant
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A Revision of the Layered attraction model for All
I typed this out in the closing thoughts question for a survey for visibility, and that evolved into making this post, which became a complete re-design of the layered attraction model to include the full spectrum of romantic and sexual orientations.
Origin of this project:
The presence of romantic attraction without sexual attraction doesn't invalidate or erase the romantic attraction.
Ace people, for example, whether heteroromantic, homoromatic, Biromantic, etc, have romantic attraction without sexual attraction. It is not unusual for Bi or Pan Demisexual or Graysexual people to experience romantic attraction to more than one gender but only experience sexual attraction towards one gender.
I've found out by interacting with people online that even outside of the Ace spectrum, there are also Biromantic Heterosexual (or Homosexual) people who are Allo. You don't even have to be on the Ace or Aro spectrum to experience romantic and sexual attraction separately. Such people tend to, in public settings, just say they are straight (or gay, as applicable) or Graysexual, to avoid having to justify their romantic attraction to additional genders not being coupled with sexual attraction despite not being Asexual.
To add to that, there's also the idea that potential partners of the gender for which they only experience romantic attraction would not be happy in a non-sexual relationship unless that person is Ace, or perhaps that they themselves wouldn't, since they do experience sexual attraction to other genders. But that is broad brushing, and given that Ace people can be in happy, fulfilling relationships with Allo people, then it is possible. It's just a matter of whether they'd want to pursue that or not. That's just another reason why Biromantic Heterosexual and Biromantic Homosexual people tend not to be out or only be out online.
The Layered Attraction Model (est 2017 as far as I can tell):
Here's the Layered attraction model for those who haven't seen it. It combines the Ace Spectrum (with some Arospec poorly thrown in), the Kinsey Scale, and a scale of polyamory (idk if that scale has its own name). It has served as a starting point for educating people and helping people find their labels. I definitely think we need additional dimensions. It wouldn't make for as nice a graphic, but just the list part is fine with me.
Kinsey scale deals with frequency/proportion of attraction, but the original layered model does not account for different types of attraction to different genders.Ā The wording in the original focuses on action rather than attraction.Ā Oneās orientation is defined by attraction, not by what you choose to act on or have had opportunity to act on.Ā Ā Instead of āprefers,ā it should say āexperiences attraction toā. Ā
Demisexuality corresponds to Pink in the layered attraction model, but the description of Pink as written assumes alloromanticism.Ā It doesn't really include those who are also Demiromantic (double Demis), or other aro-spec identities.Ā The wording of what appears to be aro-ace is also problematic.
A potential solution is to duplicate the layered attraction cake for the Aro spectrum, allowing you to choose a Kinsey Scale number for your romantic attraction separate from the number for your sexual attraction. Instead of reds and pinks, it'd use greens & grays for the Arospec colors. Adding a column for one's gender identity would make this model a full label. Acespec, Arospec, Romantic orientation, Sexual orientation, and gender identity.
This should cover everyone. Oriented aroace demiboys, Double demi panromantic homosexual girls, Allo Biromantic Heterosexual guys, Asexual Polyamorus Alloromantic Heteroromantic trans women, etc, etc.
We are a diverse community, and the world is more diverse than we tend to recognize.
The Full Spectrum Layered Attraction and Identity Model:
It took a couple of weeks before I finished the project and came back to this draft post.Ā Behold the revamped layered attraction model:
(Itās 34ā³ squared, so please zoom in to full read your parts.)
It includes:
Romantic orientation
Aromantic Spectrum Kinsey Scale Polyamory scale
Sexual orientation
Asexual Spectrum Kinsey Scale Sex Favorability
Gender Identity
Gender Identity Cis-Trans-Intersex (not mutually exclusive) Gender Fluidity
I did my best to make this inclusive to everyone, but if I missed anything or worded anything poorly, please let me know and I will make a revised version.Ā (Especially with the gender part, seeing as I am cis.)
Also, thank you to my fellow mods ofĀ @demisexual-kingdomā for giving the finished product a look over before posting.
#layered attraction model#lgbtqia+#lgbtqia#acespec#arospec#aspec#demisexual#Demiromantic#I will add more tags on the demi reblog
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Another way lesbian allies can help lesbians! A post to address why there is ( almost ) no non-lesbophobic reason to not include lesbians in merch
Dont support lesbophobic lgbt merch creators! If someone dose not include the lesbian flag in merch titled " lgbt/pride" do not like, reblog or contribute to it until you know why! Put your foot down hard aginest lesbian erasure and support creators that include us!
What should i do if a creator dose not have any lesbian merch?
Ask them! They will more than likely either add it later after requests or give you a reason why.
If they do not respond ever, that means they are most likely ignoreing you for lesbophobic reasons or they do not listen to the consumers. Both are reasons to not support these creators.
Heres some common excuses/reasons and why these do not work ( most are tailored to knitted creations):
1. The lesbian flag is offensive!
A: Calmly show them this lesbian flag.
Originally people had problems with it because the creator was an ace exclusionist. However, if that stopped them, please inform them the creator is now an ace inclusionist. Otherwise the creator is not problematic. If they do not adhead, they dont care to include us. They are then and only then lesbophobic.
2. Too many colors! Its too expensive and ill get the colors wrong!
A: calmly show them this abbreviated version of the flag above
Remind them that its a total of 3 new colors ( if they included the usual rainbow, bi and trans they should already have a basic red and white) and shouldnt be too much more expensive. Tell them that lesbians do not care if the colors are alittle off and that most understand that the colors are tricky and they will be thankful. If this dose not encourage them to include lesbians, remind them that they shouldnt of tooken on making lgbt merch if they werent prepared to include the first letter. Then and only then are they lesbophobic.
3. I dont want terfs to buy my products!
A: this is an inherently lesbophobic answer. This means they equate lesbians to terfs and thats widely offensive.
4. Lesbian merch dosent sell like the gbt+ merch.
A: ask them why they veiw making money off lgbt people over representing lesbians and producing representative merch. They'll shut up reeeaalll quick and add it.
5. I just dont want to.
A: this person is litterally a lesbophobic child. Do not give them your money.
6. This merch is made specifically for multisexual identities/acespec identities/trans identities.
A: Ask them if they plan on making this in for other identities. If they say yes, encourage them to include the lesbian flag in that. If they say no, respect that and move on.
6. I already have the rainbow flag!
A: remind them that the rainbow flag is meant for the whole community and that they shouldnt be shoving lesbians under a " etc" flag. Also remind them that most people assume that to be the gay man flag and lesbians would appriciate their own flag being represented so they arent automatically assumed to just be ambiguous. If they still decline after this, remind them this is lesbian erasure and would make them inturn lesbophobic.
7. I already have the sapphic flag!
A: remind them that the sapphic flag is for wlw, not necessarily lesbians. Wlw includes lesbian,bi, pan, poly, ace and multiple other wlw identities. Remind them that lesbians have their own flag and specific experiences that differ from other wlw. That lesbians do not deserve to be listed under " lady-lover etc." And request a lesbian specfic one. If they do not concide, remind them that it is lesbian erasure and therefore lesbophobic.
7. I wont include lesbians if they keep harassing me for not including their flag/rebeling aginest those calling them out for lesbian erasure
A: these people believe that demand for their product = harassment and that they will only include specfic oppressed groups if they are nice and their are few of them. This person is trash and entitled. Tell them they are lesbophobic and do not contribute to them.
8. I dont want to look like i enable transmisogny or ace exclusionism.
A: this is another inherently lesbophobic answer. This person equates lesbians to terfs or ace exclusionists and this is offensive. Call them out on their lesbophobic assumptions and do not contribute to them.
9. I only want to do my identities.
A: ask them why they are only producing their own identities if they are selling them to other people of mutliple different identities. If they are only suspiciously producing rainbow, bi and trans, remind them they are one away from producing lgbt merch in general and people will assume this lesbophobic erasure. They will probably change that.
10. You asking this is suspiciously terfy/exclusionist.
A: this is another inherently lesbophobic answer. This means they think even the request of lesbian merch must be only by terfs or ace exclusionists. Remind them that is lesbophobic.
And thats about every argument ive heard so far! If you run into lesbophobic creators and catch their lesbophobia either through reblogs please @ me! If you catch it in pms, please screenshot it, post it and @ me! That way we can stop other people from supporting lesbophobic creators either entirely or they change their lesbophobic ways!
Reminder to also support creators that include lesbians and praise them specifically for that! Most will be encouraged to continue to produce lesbian merch if they get praised for it.
You also should be actively engaging in this fight aginest lesbophobia and lesbian erasure if you are not lesbian yourself! We love merch but we love allies even more!
Thank you to the creators who do include lesbians in your merch! We appreciate your stance in the fight aginest lesbophobia and lesbian erasure that plagues this specific group!
#not receipt#lesbophobia#lesbophobic#dont forget the l#not all lesbians are terfs#not all terfs are lesbians#not all exclusionists are lesbians#not all lesbians are exclusionists#include lesbians#lesbian erasure#lesbian people#lesbomerch#lesbian allies listen up#why there is almost no excuse to exclude lesbians
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i donāt fully agree with the way the op talked about this but a) there is lgbtq as identity and then thereās lgbtq as a political coalition. neither you nor op made any distinction between them and of course thereās overlap but thatās part of the issue with this whole argument. second not all ace people are straight obviously but a cisgender heterosexual person is what people are referring to when they talk about straight people. i donāt think thatās about exclusion itās about being honest >>
about privilege imo plus the split attraction model is deeply problematic for a lot of reasons, namely that it assumes that āāāallosexualāāā lgbtq people somehow donāt experience atypical attraction or have complicated relationships with sex. that may not be the intention but itās a problematic way to frame the conversation. like mogai culture has a lot of problems and if this is about community those concerns should be taken seriously. idk op was not wording things well but i think > >your response didnāt necessarily address some of the actual issues with mogai and/or the aro/ace discourse. like i think this has devolved into a āwho can be in the clubā argument and thatās not the point either āsideā is trying to make. idk i just think this is an issue almost exclusively on the internet and it would be more productive for us all to discuss solutions bearing in mind historical and social context. i am really sorry some fuck sent you death threats over this though wtf
oh hey look an actual reasonable discussion. iām going to break this down into a numbered list to stay a bit organized and try to address things as you brought them up so please donāt think the list is my way of being like... snappy or something
100% agree. lgbt as an identity vs lgbt as a political coalition are different but not mutually exclusive. lgbt+ is a looooong acronym and includes a broad range of alignments and identities, and itās great that so many people can find comfort and community in that identity, and i think that anyone who feels like theyāre not solidly cishet is welcome to try on some identities or keep themselves asĀ āquestioningā and educate themselves further about different identities and the community history, and no one should be held back from exploring because - shocker - identities and our understanding of them change frequently, especially in relation to ourselves
genuinely i think the split attraction model is the biggest problem here. and place the blame for this wherever you like (media, society, the churchā¢, whatever). like i hate that our options are I Have/Want Sex All The Time vs Maybe Iām Acespec. thatās not.... how attraction works. thatās not how peopleĀ work. the ace spectrum is.... so strange to me becauseĀ āaceā as inĀ āactually asexualā can not, by default (in my opinion) be cishet, because theĀ āaceā replaces theĀ āhet.ā they would be cis ace. unfortunately, i think a lot of the ace spectrum is full of sexuality modifiers (demi is probably the most popular one). demi isnāt actually.... a sexuality. i think itās a valid identity and i think it should be allowed in the community, but we circle back to, then, the difference between lgbt as an identity and lgbt as a political coalition
i am 100% with everyone on the wholeĀ āsome acespec people are cishetā thing. a cis girl who IDs as demi (iāve already used it once iāll keep going with it) but who is pretty sure sheāll only ever be attracted to cis guys is welcome to use lgbt as an identity, but shouldnāt have a say in lgbt as a coalition. sheās still cishet, because even though demi isĀ āaceā in the absolute loosest of terms (because itās on the spectrum), itās a modifier. the reason i get so worked up about ace discourse posts is that no one who makes them bothers to differentiate between asexual and the rest of the spectrum - they just say āaceā and refuse to acknowledge it as its own sexuality. asexuality is, by default, not cishet. and like... iām saying this as someone who ID-ed as demi for a long time because i was still convinced due to social expectations thatĀ āsurely i have to want to have sex i just need to find the right personāĀ
however, of course, you then get into the complications ofĀ āsome people who were cishet but who were abused are now ID-ing as asexual and should they be allowed to ID as lgbt as a coalition.ā well... no. they have always been cishet. if they want to actually ID as asexual then i think they can use lgbt as an identity, but the other side of it isnāt open to them
also please donāt get me started on romantic attraction iām not even sure itās a super real thing i honestly think itās something (western) society more or less made up by uplifting the ideals of marriage and more or less banning close physical contact between friends because honestly how do you even define romance as an attraction itās bonkersĀ
i didnāt touch on this stuff in my initial reply to the post because every time thereās ace discourse it always seems to boil down toĀ āwe canāt be adults and understand that thereās nuance and complications to all of this so weāre just going to hate all acespec people and try to ban them from ID-ing as lgbt and theyāre only valid if they also hastily say that theyāre trans or wlw/mlm but theyāre on thin ice.ā and that pisses me off because if you think youāre in a sound enough place to start dictating who is and isnāt allowed to sayĀ āi fit into the lgbt political coalitionā then you need to be less line-in-the-sand about it and more understanding to the fact that some people who identify as ace actually arenāt cishet Even If Theyāre Still Cis And Not Bi/Gay/Pan/Etc. because asexual is. literally. a sexuality and you canāt be het if youāre not. attracted to people?
but yeah like......... no one can really be the Identity Police and say that someone who thinks themselves to be something other than the social standard of cishet isnāt allowed to identify as lgbt (allies can fuck off they donāt get to be in the acronym but like.... itās open ended with a + for a reason). and i think that anyone who wants to identify as lgbt needs to start doing some research on different identities and on the history of lgbt as a political coalition and itās evolution as an identity as well. and youāre right - none of this actually exists in the real world, because it typically happens that getting into discussions in the real world results in learning instead of tightening your grip on your beliefs (which is how tumblr discussions always go; everyone gets defensive and no one actually learns anything)
and iām not saying that even iām 100% right. everything is so dependent on minute details and individual identities. we get so used to binaries that i think itās difficult, sometimes, to remember that no two people are in the same exact place on the spectrum. no one experiences their sexuality the way another person does. sometimes even the definitions of terms and identities are different for different people, and they change so damn frequently
thank you for being a reasonable human being and please feel free to keep up the discussion if you want toĀ ā”ā”ā”
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Are there actually people on this hell-site who are upset at acespecs celebrating Asexual Awareness Week becauseĀ āthere are other, more important things going on that actuallyĀ oppress peopleā?
Really?
Actually?
Am I upset that the Trump Administration is trying to eliminate trans-ness and intersex-ness by trying to change the legal definition of sex to being only male or female and unchangeable?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Iām a nonbinary person whoās biggest issue with dysphoria is social. Being perceived as female triggers extreme suicidal thoughts and want to self-mutilate. I absolutely understand how awful this would be for trans and nonbinary people, in at least one aspect: how this can bring the numbers of trans and nonbinary suicides up even higher than they already are and decrease our expected lifespans to even shorter than the small number they are.
There are many other ways this, if it passes, can harm trans and nonbinary people. And intersex people, too, though I donāt feel qualified to talk on that part because Iām not very well-versed in intersex issues and I donāt consider myself to be intersex (I have what can be considered an intersex condition, but I donāt really feel right claiming the label intersex, so I donāt want to talk over intersex people (((like how non-queer people who could theoreticallyĀ call themselves queer shouldnāt speak on queer issues))), but I digress).
And while I donāt live in the US, that doesnāt stop me from being incredibly angry and wanting to spread the word. Because even if I personally canāt do anything tangible, I can at least help people who can vote in the US aware of the issue. I havenāt yet reblogged anything on it because, beyond when I add to things or when things are within a day or two in terms of time sensitivity I run my blog on a queue. But I have reblogs queued up. And Iām going to queue more. Because this is an atrocity that I want to do everything in my power to stop.
BUT GUESS WHAT?
Itās also Asexual Awareness Week.
It has been planned to be this week for a while. Acespecs didnāt suddenly decide,Ā āoh, we should have Asexual Awareness Week right this very moment!ā on October 21st. It was planned to start that day long before now. Acespecs arenāt trying toĀ āsteal the spotlightā from other issues. It was coincidental that these two things happened at the same time. Itās not anyoneās fault.
And implying that Asexual Awareness Week be, what, cancelled? Because this news dropped right around the same time as it started?
Itās petty.
Itās just using another awful event against people within the LGBTQ+ community as justification to be assholes to aspecs and try to force them out of a community theyāve been in for much longer than exclusionists want you to believe.
And I highly doubt that any other celebrations of any other identity would be dropped because of this. What if this happened during pride week? Would you want all pride to just stop?
No. The only reason thereās this much backlash is because it just happened to be asexuals, and theyāre your target for your anger at everything.
Yes, something awful is happening. But that doesnāt negate other things. That doesnāt mean that everyone has to drop everything and give 100% of their time, energy, and focus on that one thing. EspeciallyĀ when so many of us have so much fatigue about... everything going on in the world. Let people have good things, even when bad things are happening.
And if youāre angry, how about directing it at the actual thing youāre angry at, rather than continuing to antagonize people of a minority orientation over something that doesnāt involve that orientation. That would be infinitely more productive.
But wait. That would ruin your double standard. Because, you know, aces arenāt worrying about this transphobic shit going on (I can assure you, they absolutely are worrying about it) because theyāre too busy celebrating, but itās totally cool for you to not be worrying about that transphobic shit in favour of directing all your energy toward bullying asexual people to score someĀ āwokeā points to add to your social capital among your exclusionist pals, because thatās all that seems to matter.
#my post#ace discourse#I'm tired of this#asexual people aren't the issue here#it's fucking Trump and Pence and the rest of the administrations' transphobia#stop blaming asexuals for shit#they didn't do any of this#stop using external horrible issues to demonize aspec people even though it has no connection
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āPass the jam?ā Once Cho complied, Padma simply replied,Ā āthanks.ā The two smiled small smiles at one another as Padma enjoyed her biscuit and Cho sipped her tea.
It had been a long road for the two to fall into this now comfortable and easy domesticity. That was okay, though. Their past just made them both appreciate their present that much more.
Everyone was a mess after the War. Cho had been a mess long before that, ever since Cedric died. Sheād always been soft and delicate and gentle. All smiles and no sharp edges. After she saw Cedricās body, murdered by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, she began to harden. She sharpened herself into jagged points and just continued sharpening herself, cutting down her softness. Marietta became the only one who saw her lingering softness. When Marietta died, Cho broke up her remaining softness and rebuilt herself into a soldier. The War was over, but there were still Death Eaters to hunt down. She became an auror. Even though sheād fought in the War, she still had to go through training. She barely slept; she barely ate. She trained, pushing herself physically, mentally, emotionally, and magically. Cho remained completely focused on her training and then her job. She no longer had friends, just coworkers she was sometimes teamed up with, an always changing rotation of fellow aurors, none of whom could keep up with her intensity.
Padma didnāt break until after the War. Once she did, though, she didnāt know how to pick back up the pieces. She watched everyone around her move forward with their lives. She watched them heal. She put on smiles and pretended to heal with everyone else. Parvati asked her to be her bridesmaid when she and Lavender got married. Padma said yes; she knew she should be happy for the two, but she just felt disconnected from all feeling. While her peers started marrying and having children, Padma struggled. Sometimes she held down a low-paying job long enough to stay in a shady apartment for a while. Usually, she squatted. At times, she found herself totally zoning out for days at a time. Padma had large gaps in her memory, only realizing what had happened when sheād suddenly come back to awareness, staring at some dirty spot on some crumbling wall, a gnawing hunger reminding her that her body still had needs.
It was during one of these zone outs that Cho and Padma ran into each other again.
āDammit! Where the bloody hell did he go?ā a raspy voice broke Padmaās stupor.Ā āYou! The lanky wizard that just ran in here. Where did he go?ā
āDunno.ā
āYou donāt know?ā Cho sputtered, voice hard and angry.Ā āHe either had to apparate or run through here. Where is he? Are you colluding with him?ā
āSorry, didnāt see him.ā
Hard lines etched into Choās face.Ā āHow could you not have seen him? Thatās it - hands up, away from your wand.ā
Padma wasnāt even sure where her wand was. She raised her hands, allowing the familiar face to come frisk her. Finding no wand, Cho marginally relaxed. But only marginally. Once she did, she noticed something, taking a genuine look at Padma, who hadnāt showered in weeks now and hadnāt bothered to straighten or wash her clothes.
āPadma? Is that - it canāt be you.ā
āItās me. Or so Iām told,ā she answered dully.
Something - and she wasnāt sure what - made Cho do something she hadnāt done in years: cared about something other than hunting Death Eaters and other criminals. She led Padma back to her small, sparse flat and fed her, then encouraged her to shower. Cho told her to stay. She herself was rarely home; Padma could even sleep on the bed instead of the sofa whenever Cho wasnāt home. No, she wasnāt a bother.
They didnāt talk much for the first few weeks, learning to live around each other. Cho relied heavily on her instincts these days, and something nagged at her. Padma clearly wasnāt doing well. So, Cho ended up dragging her to St. Mungoās to see a therapist. After three sessions where Padma sat and said nothing, the therapist suggested that perhaps Choās presence might help move things along. Cho reluctantly agreed, believing she could attend without having her own mental state revealed. Or perhaps she was just ready for help but unable to admit it to herself.
āCho, perhaps you could share something so that Padma knows sheās not alone here. Something personal about how the War still impacts you today.ā
Cho frowned, but glanced at Padma. The woman was looking better, but she still barely spoke and Cho didnāt think she even ate when Cho wasnāt there to offer her food. That was the only reason she didnāt deny the request.
Eventually, she worked past the knot in her throat.Ā āWell, before...ā she couldnāt bring herself to say Cedricās name,Ā ābefore, I had always wanted to play professional Quidditch or perhaps be a healer or possibly teach at Hogwarts. I never thought of being an auror until I fought Death Eaters. Theyāre the reason I started this job and the reason Iāve stayed.ā
The therapist made some remark, but Cho couldnāt hear her past the rushing of blood in her ears or over the suddenly engaged look on Padmaās face.
āI canāt keep a job,ā Padma said quietly, looking directly at Cho.Ā āThat requires too much thinking, which means Iād have to face what happened.ā After a brief pause, she whispered,Ā āI donāt know how to face it. Everyone else moved so fast, and now Iām just so lost.ā
Any tension between Cho and Padma broke after that. It was slow going, and it was definitely awkward at times, but things had changed. Padma started engaging in therapy. Even though she probably could have done it alone, Cho kept going to some sessions with her. Life slowly began sparking back in Padmaās eyes. She gained weight and stopped zoning out. The biggest change of all - she started chasing jobs. She started at Weasleyās Wizarding Wheezes, helping George, sometimes accompanied by Ron or Ginny, with the long process of creating new product. She ended up facing her demons, writing history books to document the Second Wizarding War and the events leading up to it. Without meaning to, Cho started sanding down her sharp corners and jagged lines. She learned to actually start living life again rather than just going through the motions.Ā
āYou have a beautiful laugh you know,ā Cho informed Padma, who blushed faintly and tried to change the subject.
āI never thanked you, Cho, for rescuing me that night and putting up with me since then. It... I donāt really know how to express how grateful I am.ā
āI actually think the rescuing was mutual. Iām glad you never just disappeared.ā
āSpeaking of, would you like your space back to yourself?ā
Cho looked down, a small grin playing on her face.Ā āI was actually going to ask if you wanted to move into a bigger flat with me.ā
When Cho looked up, Padma was grinning.Ā āIād love to.ā
It wasnāt long after their move that the two started dating. The real catalyst was Padma revealing that she was acespec and Cho realizing she was too after Padma explained what that meant.Ā
And the rest, as they say, was history.
Asexual Awareness Week HP Fandom Challenge
Day 4: Post about ace/spec HP characters who are in relationships.
~Hufflepuff Mod
#cho chang#padma patil#ace headcanons#aawfc#asexual awareness week#aroacehp#aawfc day 4#acespec#ace spectrum#romantic relationships#platonic relationships#wizarding war#mental illness headcanons#long post#safefora#characters#hufflepuff mod#death mention
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4,000 Followers Shout-out!
George felt like he hadnāt stopped moving in the past few months. Fred felt like he might not ever be able to stop moving. They thought opening the shop had been busy - and it had been - but it was nothing like comparing for a big surprise while also running the shop and dealing with customers.
Four had always been a lucky number for the twins. Perhaps it was because they were the fourth birthday of the family. Perhaps it was because they were born in the fourth month. Perhaps it was any number of things, but the twins were connected to the number four. Thatās why they had decided to do an ambitious celebration to celebrate their 4,000th sale. They would have planned a 40,000th or 400,000th or even 4,000,000th sale celebration, but honestly with the looming war... Well, better safe than sorry. Plus, the world could use more cause to celebrate at the moment. The only problem - if it could be considered such - was, their 4,000th sale was coming up faster than anticipated.
āIs it-ā
ā-ready? Not quite.ā
āMaybe some essence of murlock?ā
āHm, yes, its uses for satisfaction are promising.ā
āProbably just a few drops will do it.ā
āJust what I was thinking, brother!ā
The big day was coming fast, but a few nearly sleepless nights and it would all be worth it.
~
āSo, you talked to Angelina yet?ā
āYou talked to Lee yet?ā George retorted, a little extra snap in his throw when he tossed the cinnamon in their mixture.
āNo,ā Fred admitted. George delighted in the blush thatād crept up his brotherās face. Neither of them blushed much, but bringing up Fredās crush was a surefire way to bring on the red.Ā āI donāt know how to talk to him about being grayro. Which is a great excuse. Whatās your excuse for Angelina, huh? She may identify simply as queer, but Iāve talked to her a lot. Iām pretty sure sheās acespec, bro. Definitely would understand you being demisexual.ā
George shrugged.Ā āI just... Itās something I donāt want to rush. I donāt want it to be tainted by whatever this war is going to bring. I feel like if itās meant to be, itāll be after the war when it can be good and happy.ā
Fred was silent for a moment, carefully counting out clockwise stirs. Itād been a while since him and George had made time to actually talk with each other. Most of their conversations had been literal shop talk. They really hadnāt even had the time to be brothers for the past few months.
āActually, your excuse is better. Can I also use it?ā
George chuckled.Ā āAnytime. For what itās worth, I had similar conversations with Lee. Iām not sure he was ready to admit it, but heās likely bi. I think heād understand being grayro.ā
āAlright, ready?ā
āYep, on three.ā
āOne, two, three - beatigaumus!ā they shouted in unison. Bright orange flashed in the twinās vision, temporarily blinding them.
āWhoa.ā
āWicked.ā
āI think weāre good to call it a night,ā George grinned.
~
They were usually happy around the shop, but today Fred and George nearly scared away customers with their dragon-sized grins. There was no way they werenāt reaching their 4,000th sale today.
George slid behind the counter to join Fred at the register.Ā āThanks for shopping with Weasleyās Wizarding Wheezes - tell your friends!ā Quietly, to Fred, he said,Ā āWe maybe should have chosen a shorter name. So how many was that.ā
āNonsense the name is perfect. Just five more, Georgie boy!ā
Their fifth customer after that was someone they recognized. A young, Hogwarts-aged wix who was seemingly homeschooled. They often came around the shop but had yet to buy anything.Ā āI saved up enough allowance by doing extra chores!ā the young one proclaimed, exceedingly proud of themselves and their hard work. Fred and George were all at once reminded of themselves.
āThis is so perfect,ā Fred told his twin.
āSo what did you decide on?ā George asked their young customer.
āA pride pop for my older sister!ā Their pride pop lines were one of the products they were the proudest of. A whole package of pride colored lollipops. One side of the package was for bigots and bullies, the other for the prideful purchaser. The side for bigots and bullies looked like normal suckers but literally tied the tongue of the bigot in knots. The pride side came in shifting pride colors depending on who grabbed it and what they asked for. Its side effects ranged from a short happy high to being able to breathe pride-colored fire to burping pride-colored bubbles to floating a few inches off the ground for a few minutes.
āAre you getting anything for yourself?ā Fred asked.
āNo, I donāt really need it. But my sister is having a bad time with my parents, so she needs it.ā
George smiled fondly at the kid.Ā āYouāre much nicer to your sibling than we were to ours,ā he teased, pleased that this would be their 4,000th customer.Ā āThatāll be seven sickles.ā
George nearly squirmed in anticipation as Fred took the offered sickles and opened the register. Upon closing it, in true Weasley twin fashion, everything exploded into action. Money coins exploded out of the register like a fountain as more coins rained down from the ceiling. The whole shop briefly flashed purple. Celebratory sirens ran out three times. Wix who needed protected from the sensory input were temporarily bubbled - either to protect from falling coins, the color, and/or the sound.Ā
Fred and Georgeās voice boomed out above the crowd.Ā āFour thousand sales, folks, and itās you who gets to reap the rewards! Our lucky 4,000th customer here is winning a grand prize of 4,000 sickles! And one of you lucky folk in the crowd can win 2,000 sickles if you find the candy galleon with a blue inner wrapper! And by the way, these galleons are our newest product meant to help you celebrate - any that dropped a moment ago are absolutely free. Bite into one of these cinnamon-y chocolate delights and youāll hear the roaring of a crowd in your ear, feel like youāre getting a congratulatory handshake or slap on the back, and get a boost of adrenaline and happiness that comes with succeeding in your goal! Have it folks - but no pushing! Violence automatically disqualifies you from winning, and weāll know if you cheat or steal the winning candy from another!ā The two stepped down from the counter theyād hopped up on for their announcement.
The young wix, their 4,000th customer, looked up at them in awe.
āSickles? Four thousand sickles,ā they said faintly, and Fred wondered if they might faint.
āCongrats! Is a guardian here with you? Iād love to just give you the sickles, but I think thereās some legal issue with doing that. Or maybe we could hold your winnings here at the shop and give you some free stuff until youāre old enough that itās not an issue? Of course, you might spend all of it here at the shop by then-ā George nudged his twin.Ā āEr, uh, or we could give you some time to process first.ā
āI got it!ā a triumphant voice sounded from over in the potion aisle. The twins immediately recognized the voice of a witch about their age that Fred occasionally flirted with. She was charismatic and friendly and sometimes came in the shop just to chat with its owners - and sometimes to escape the whether, which the twins never minded.
A chorus of disappointed groans sounded from the shop, but the young girl received plenty of congratulations as she made her way to the front. Other customers satisfied themselves by stuffing as much of the free candy into their pockets as possible.
Fred verified the witchās win quickly.Ā āCongrats,ā he grinned as George handed over her winnings.Ā āWe were hoping a regular might get to win.ā
āYouāve no idea how much this means to me,ā she said. Then, with aĀ āaw, hell,ā she leaned in to hug the both of them.Ā āAnd congrats to you,ā she beamed at the young wix, still mouthing the words āfour thousand sicklesā to himself.
āExcuse us just one moment,ā George told them before he and Fred stepped back up to the counter and amplified their voices.
āThatās it, folks! Thereās our winners. However, besides the free candy, youāre all also winning today. Fifty percent off everything in the shop for the next four hours only as a thank you for your loyal business thus far!ā
Even though they had plenty of time, customers sprang into frenzied action grabbing products they had earlier been debating on buying. Although everything was half off, the next four hours resulted in Fred and George having the most successful day of their business yet, unexpectedly selling out of many of their products. Nearly every customer at the register asked if theyād be putting the Gratification Galleons on the shelves (yes, they would be once they whipped up a new batch). Their young 4,000th customer winner ended up settling on getting aĀ āweekly allowanceā from the twins, which they figured worked as a loophole to make sure they actually got their winnings instead of their parents.
~
Fred let out a loud groaning sigh as he flopped into a big, squishy chair in their flat above the shop. In contrast, George silently collapsed on his bed.
āMy feet,ā George complained.Ā āCan we take tomorrow off?ā
āJust use some of our Petrissage Potion. If Iām working, youāre working.ā
George grinned in spite of himself, summoning some of the potion from the bathroom.Ā āIt was a good day, huh.ā
āIād do it all over again,ā Fred agreed.
And neither twin even thought about complaining when they fell asleep right where they were.
~ Thank you to all our followers, submitters, rebloggers, etc.! You are awesome, and we appreciate your interactions. We wouldnāt be here without you all! ~
#hufflepuff mod#george weasley#fred weasley#gray aromantic#asexual spectrum#acespec#aro spectrum#aro headcanons#ace headcanons#lee jordan#angelina johnson#weasley's wizarding wheezes#food cw#familial relationships#characters#demisexual#queer headcanons#queer#bi headcanons#bisexual#biromantic#potions#spells#pride#long post#fanfiction friday#fic recs
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